” I had to let it out. "April’s been bugging me about getting a car for over a year now. It just makes me feel guilty.” He didn't respond. I held the envelope at each end, staring at it. “You want it to go into an account. But I need to use it as a down payment on a car. But then it would be like you didn’t do anything for me. You know what I mean?” He reached over and tapped the envelope. “You know what? That’s for you. We're going to open up that account. I'll work out something on a used car." April came down the stairs with a piece of paper in her hand. She grabbed a soda from the fridge and leaned against the counter next to the sink. Jake looked at her shortly and then turned back to me. “She does need a car; I agree.” I slowly shook my head. “But I can’t let it be on you.” He put his arm around me. “I told you, this is your day. I'll find something for a few grand. It'll be okay." I looked at April and scoffed. “The only used car she'll take runs $20,000.” He was shocked but. " I'm not a man-hater! I just don't want a man who hovers around my sick little boy and makes out like he loves him like a son." What makes you so certain I'm faking it?" 'My boy!... My boy, ' you called him. You're just going to waltz in and take his dead father's place overnight, just like that! Calm Mama down with your magic dick, and then sign up for a hitch with your 'boy.'" Why'd you come here tonight, if you were so full of venom? I thought you were here because we were going to make love." I did come to spend the night with you, but this has been preying on my mind ever since we left the doctor's office. You don't know -- you can't know -- how awful it is when Nolan goes down with this! He's so goddamn sick! You just don't know!" Why can't we do this together?" I asked her. "Why is it so impossible that I could want to be a part of it? Okay, maybe when I see how bad it can get, I'll be repulsed, just as you've said. But aren't you, sometimes? You may never stop loving him, but.
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